Genuflection

This article was originally created on January 29, 2014

On television, in an image carefully cultivated by the diamond industry, a man is shown genuflecting in front of a woman and begging her to marry him. The enticing bribe, to sway the doe-eyed lass, is always a diamond.

I don’t care for that image. Not at all.
I don’t care for it because it is fundamentally flawed.

First, bending one knee to the ground has been, from time immemorial, a gesture of allegiance to somebody higher in rank or status. The Apple dictionary clearly defines allegiance as “a commitment of a subordinate to a superior”.

So, this knee-bending bit indicates right off the bat that the man acknowledges the woman’s dominance and agrees implicitly to let her run the show for the foreseeable future.
Not smart!

Secondly, there should not be any begging! Begging is for dogs, and anyway, there will be plenty of time for that later. Then, instead of a genuflection, I would favor a deal sealed by a handshake. The handshake has long been considered a gesture of peace, demonstrating that the extended hand holds no weapon. You need this kind of reassurance at the beginning of this war and peace saga.

Next, there is the matter of the rock itself. Why should the man (only the man) be required to present the woman with an expensive present? Shouldn’t the man also be entitled to receive something in exchange? A motorcycle, maybe, or a fishing rod?

Personally, I would feel more inclined to reward somebody with some trinket after a few years of good and loyal service. Not before. Because it doesn’t make sense. You don’t give a bonus to an associate when he is just starting.

And what if the bride-to-be grabs the rock and thumbs her nose at you? It has happened more times than you think.

So, I highly disapprove of this genuflection farce and diamond-bribing charade. I would like to see this diamond peddlers’ gimmick discarded, and instead of precious stones, I would like the groom and bride exchange olive branches.

The olive branch is a symbol of peace and harmony and is more meaningful than a vulgar kneeling trick and a cold piece of rock.

Sorry, De Beers!

Diamonds are not a guy’s best friends!

Alain

PS: If you persist (against my advice) in slobbering in front of a dame, don’t ever pull this shtick in public... especially when in a stadium. In case of refusal, the ensuing humiliation could be worse than death.